can't believe i'm resorting to this

I haven't blogged in forever. Mainly because whenever I do blog it's about something sad. Makes me feel so weak having to resort to blogging instead of just sucking it up and get over it. Maybe I kept it bottled up for so long that its eating me from the inside out. I don't know how I've gotten so... insecure. Why do I need the reassurance of the tittle "girlfriend" to make me feel loved or feel like what i have is the real thing? Maybe it's me wanting to actually have an anniversary? Or me comparing my relationship with other couples? Or maybe I have high expectations? Everything just seems like a blur to me. I'm not sure exactly why or what I'm unhappy about. Maybe i'm just fucked up in the head.